Living with joy starts from within. Each of us is enough. Our lives have value with or without life partners. To a large extent, you get to choose how you wish to live.
Some of us wish to live with spouses, life partners, etc. And if we don’t have them, how do we find them? This is one of the great questions of our age.
Jim McCoy has written The Last Place You Look: A Contrarian’s Guide To Dating and Finding Love. (I bought my copy from Amazon.) I met Jim several years ago and I found him to be a smart, funny, kind and sensible guy.
Not surprisingly, his book is a common sense guide that is both entertaining and insightful. Jim has shared a lot of interesting experiences from his life and others.
If you’re looking for a life partner, read this book.
If you aren’t looking but have friends who are, read this book and then pass it on to them. Even for those who are not looking, this book will provide a better understanding of what your friends are experiencing. After all, empathy and understanding deepen friendship.
The Last Place You Look advises that one should disregard the typical list of ideal attributes for the perfect mate. You know that List – the one that includes “tall, dark, handsome, independently wealthy, drives a cool car, loves cats, etc.” Instead, focus on “rapport and character.”
In a nutshell, rapport and character are about:
- Enjoying and being comfortable in his/her company.
- Finding someone who is kind, empathetic and responsible.
Excellent advice. Thanks, Jim!
It struck me that focusing on rapport and character applies not only to dating, but also to all of our relationships.
I would invite you to notice who are the people that you hang out with the most. Then take a “survey.” Regarding each of these folks, ask yourself the following:
- Is this person kind?
- Is this person interested in how I feel or am I just the audience?
- Can I count on this person to follow through on his/her promises?
If you don’t get an across the board “yes”, you might want to consider the value and continuing nature of that particular friendship. Focusing on relationships that are truly loving and supportive will enrich our sense of well-being. And that’s a very good thing.
So, in life as in dating – begin from a place of joy and know that:
- Our journey is more enriching when we are open to many possibilities.
- We are never too old to seek loving relationships.
- A good game plan improves the chances for a successful outcome.
